Teens often seek independence from their families and need emotional, financial and logistical support. Like all of us, they want to be seen and they want to hide from judgment. They look forward to adulthood and cling to the parts of themselves that are still children. They want to play it cool and go nuts.

 

These feelings make sense. Years of family history mixed with big emotions can lead to home dynamics that many teens want to escape. They also carry the burden of establishing themselves socially and academically, while positioning themselves for the future. All of this now takes place in an era with digital technology that none of us fully understand. In our office, these pressures show up as anxiety, conflict at home, school stress and perfectionism, low mood, trouble with friendships or social media, life avoidance, and high risk behaviors.

 

Parenting under these circumstances can feel impossible. How can you prepare a teen for a future that you can't imagine? How can you support a kid emotionally who is telling you in so many ways to stay back? How can you create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding with someone who is still learning how to control themselves and who is acutely aware of all the ways adults fail to practice what they preach?

 

As therapists, our job is to hold these paradoxes with curiosity and kindness. At Oaklight, we see teens as their own people with their own thoughts, feelings, ideas, and treatment goals and we see them within the context of their family systems. We listen carefully to the goals of the parents and the goals of their teens. We seek to find common ground, and to facilitate conversations when those goals do not align.

 

Bridging the gap between what parents are looking for and what teens feel they need is the first step of our therapeutic process and is an ongoing part of treatment. Ultimately, we want to create a space where teens feel safe to share and explore their world. We also want to support families so that parents feel good about the dynamics at home and how they are raising their children. Our privacy policy aims to address the needs of parents and teens as well. What is shared in therapy is private, unless there is a substantial safety concern. 

 

Teen therapy at Oaklight is provided by Maya Sheppard and Sara Dickson, under the clinical supervision of Devin Maroney, LCSW-C, for ages 12 and up, in person in Bethesda or online in Maryland and DC.